In commemoration of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, Shanay Bell — our Director of Communications — honors the dog she left behind and writes about a CFNJ legacy fund that will support sanctuaries for survivors and their pets. If you’re in danger and need help, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 / TTY 1-800-787-3224 or text “START” to 88788.
Sometimes, the people who love us weaponize our love for our pets against us. I experienced this more than 20 years ago.
My beloved companion was an Australian Shepherd named “Maximus.” I named him after the main character in the “Gladiator” movie because he was regal and majestic. On our walks, people would regularly exclaim over his lush brown, white and black coat. I remember his frenetic dashes up and down the hallway when I returned from work and his penchant for jump-dancing with visitors at my front door. I also recall the night I sat next to him on my back porch, buried my face in his furry and wiggling body, and then fled my house with a few bags and a suitcase.
I just couldn’t endure the abuse from my ex anymore.
I didn’t have an exit plan that included Maximus because I didn’t know I needed one; I figured I would return for him once I found a new place to live. But my ex did something cruel and unimaginable. He gave Maximus away to a family with kids — days after I left, because I had “abandoned” both of them — and refused to get him back. I’ll never know if my dog was given to a loving family. But I couldn’t let myself wonder about the “true” story because the guilt still stings and tilts my world.
Funding Sanctuaries for Survivors & Their Pets
Looking back, I wish a safe haven had existed for both of us. And I remain heartbroken over my loss. But I’m overjoyed that survivors will soon have greater access to sanctuaries thanks to the Lindemann Legacy Fund. Also known as Quinn’s Corner, this grant opportunity aims to ensure that at least one domestic violence shelter in all 21 counties can house survivors and their pets together. It will cover everything from vet bills and staff training to capital expenses and planning funds. With this support, more New Jerseyans will be able to afford a pet deposit at an apartment — or stay in a safe house with their entire family — rather than be forced to live in their car, stay with their abuser or leave their pet behind.
An abiding love for her pets inspired Karen Lindemann, who created the fund with CFNJ’s guidance, to champion the need for more sanctuaries across the state. No New Jersey shelters had ever offered this service until 180 Turning Lives Around connected with Karen a few years ago over the lack of space for pets in safe houses. Together, they created a program that’s helped nearly 100 survivors and their pets so far. Fast-forwarding to 2024, we hope other safe houses will join the Monmouth shelter in offering a healing space with the support of the Lindemann Legacy Fund.
For the first phase of grantmaking, we’re administering Jumpstart Grants and partnering with the New Jersey Coalition to End Domestic Violence, RedRover and Greater Good Charities to launch the fund. Non-profits can start applying today for these one-time $5,000 grants. By January 2025, we will announce additional grantmaking, including funding a shelter staff position of Pet Advocate and more.
Uniting to Help Heal, Hold & Center Survivors
As a DV survivor, I’m grateful for the healing Karen’s fund will inspire and the safe spaces that will be built. I’m also appreciative that promoting her legacy fund is helping me acknowledge a hurt that I’ve long ignored — and grieve for Maximus.
The theme for Domestic Violence Awareness Month — Heal, Hold, and Center — resonates in an unexpected way for me this year. Because of Karen, I’m experiencing a full circle moment that’s painful yet healing, and I’m thankful for the unexpected gift of getting my best friend back. I can smile when I gaze at his photo on the “Pets of CFNJ” wall in the foyer that our staff created in honor of the fund. And I can think of him without flinching.
Although I left Maximus 22 years ago, I now realize he’s never left me.